Some of us still remember when there was no such thing as “online dating.” Or even “online.” Then, as it became a real thing, there were strong stigmas attached to meeting strangers and pursuing romance with them on the weird but wonderful World Wide Web.
But nowadays, online dating is a perfectly normal and acceptable practice. With a little over 54 million single adults in the US, more than 49 million Americans have tried online dating, which has become a $1.749 billion-per-year industry, according to Statistic Brain Research Institute.
While leading active-adult communities have busy social programs, regular special events, and public gathering spaces to facilitate meeting new people, sometimes residents get a little curious about what sort of proverbial fish are in the digital sea. And there are a number of great online dating sites for testing those waters for the over-50 crowd.
Even those of us with a good deal of life experience who are relatively new to internet dating are sometimes unaware of all the potential pitfalls and dangers. It doesn't hurt to brush up on some common-sense but often overlooked safety measures before meeting anyone in real life for the first time whom you encountered online.
Remember, until you've met in person, you don't truly know anything you think you know about your date. While most people on dating sites are honest (or at least only resort to mostly harmless white lies and slight exaggerations to build up your interest), some post pictures that are not of themselves, fill their profiles up with outright lies (even about very basic information like their age or marital status), and interact in dishonest ways to mislead people. Often, it's just an attempt to attract more potential dates, but sometimes the motives involve defrauding or hurting victims.
- Keep an eye out for red flags. If someone seems too perfect, if details seem contradictory or don't add up, if you have simple questions that get dodged, if they have excessive grammar and spelling errors, or if someone is quick to speak of love or fate, it can indicate something's amiss. Also, before agreeing to meet, do some sleuthing. Look for the person on Google and Facebook to find some corroborating information. Talking on webcam or a video chat program like Skype provides some solid reassurances too.
- Don't give out financial information like a credit card number or personal information like a social security number. It sounds obvious, but 55+ individuals are commonly targeted for identity theft and plain old regular theft, and it can be easy to let your guard down over time when you're full of hope and the situation seems full of promise.
- Always meet in a public place, and never at your home, your date's home, or anywhere that may be deserted (like perhaps for a romantic after-dark stroll in a park or at the beach). Also, refrain from giving out your address until you've met and developed a reasonable degree of trust in the person.
- Tell someone where you're going and when you're coming back. A nearby family member, friend, or well-known neighbor should know your plans and check in to make sure you get home OK. Of course, a great date may lead to some spontaneity and overtime; send a quick text message to keep your contact apprised of any changes.
- Drive yourself (or find your own transportation) to the date, rather than agreeing to be picked up by the other person. You need the ability to leave at will without being dependent on your date, and it's best to not put yourself in the situation of being a passenger in a stranger's vehicle.
- Don't get drunk. Sure, alcohol is a wonderful social lubricant and often part of a good time, but it's crucial that you remain alert, sensible, and in control for a first meeting with an internet date. If you can handle a drink or two without any adverse effects that could compromise your safety, and you know without a doubt that you have the self-control to stop there, then that's OK. Otherwise, skip the alcoholic beverages.
- Trust your gut if something doesn't seem right. Even if you can't quite put your finger on the problem. We're built with intuition for a reason—it helps keep us safe—and especially for those of us who've been around the block a few times, it's surprisingly reliable.
